When I had my first introduction to group therapy models, it was during my second semester of grad school. I was a fresh baby therapist and very curious about the potential healing that could come from this unique setting. I remember being incredibly intimidated by it at the time: the idea of facilitating group therapy, but even more so the idea of attending!? No thank youuuu… It wasn’t until a few weeks into the semester, after reading case study after case study and beginning to facilitate some role plays of group sessions within the class, that the beautiful elixir of what group therapy really did offer became more obvious to me.

Have you heard of the universal loneliness paradox? No? Well, let me tell you—it’s this idea that we all feel alone in our struggles, yet we’re surrounded by others fighting similar battles. What if the very thing that feels most shameful—sharing our difficulties, heartbreaks, challenges, and letdowns with others—is actually what sets us free?

The Intimacy of Being Witnessed

How did it feel the last time you were seen— I mean, really witnessed by someone? They saw you for your idiosyncrasies, your quirks, your flaws, your magic—all of you. There’s something irresistible about truly being witnessed by someone. It’s a gift that we can offer to others, and one that’s rarely bestowed upon us. There is truly nothing in the world that’s comparable to the feeling of someone just really getting you. The intimacy of being truly witnessed looks a little different in individual and group therapy. Let’s take a deeper dive into each.

What does being witnessed look like in individual therapy?

The safety of one trusted witness (your therapist)
Space to explore without performing for others
Your therapist becomes your secure base, in a way—forming that secure attachment that so often we don’t get from early caretakers or early attachment figures

What about in group therapy?

Esther Perel sheds light on the idea that we don’t truly see ourselves clearly until we see ourselves reflected in others; group therapy offers a unique opportunity for this
The radical notion and discovery that you’re not uniquely broken

Group therapy becomes a social synapse, in a way, where you get to practice relationships in real time
The paradoxical gift that comes from group therapy: giving help to others is as healing as receiving it

People don’t need to be fixed; they want to belong to something that helps them become who they already are. Both individual and group settings have a way of creating a space to do that for an individual.

Your Brain on Connection

Mirror, mirror on the wall—whose neurons did you absorb after all? If you’re unfamiliar with mirror neurons, let me familiarize you. Mirror neurons are perhaps one of the most important discoveries in neuroscience in the last decade (thank you for the verbiage, @Google), but truly! Mirror neurons allow us to go one step deeper beyond observing other people’s behaviors; they allow us to make sense of their actions. Mirror neurons are why we can watch someone reach for a cup and make the probable conclusion that they’re trying to take a sip of something. Mirror neurons allow us to bridge the gap between self and other. So, for our purposes, mirror neurons allow us to watch others heal and activate our own healing.

With individual therapy, deep neural integration happens through sustained attunement to another. Through group therapy, there are multiple attachment figures, allowing for more pathways to regulation. Both modalities use the power of mirror neurons to rewire the brain differently.

What does this mean for you and your decision between group or individual therapy?

Individual therapy is ideal for trauma requiring slower and more contained processing

Group therapy accelerates insight through multiple perspectives
Both group and individual: win-win, in that the brain craves both tribal belonging (group) and deep dyadic attunement (individual)

At The Sterling Group, we see therapy not as fixing what’s broken, but as strengthening your brain’s natural capacity for connection and growth. That’s why offering both group and individual therapy is a key part of our ethos as therapists—both outlets can provide integral pathways toward healing.

The Questions Only YOU Can Answer

I know, I know—you wanted to read this and come away with, “But like, Katie… which one should I do!?” Sorry, darlings. I wouldn’t be doing my job here if I weren’t empowering you to make this decision on your own. This is my version of an if/then flowchart for your decision-making process. If you’re deciding between group or individual therapy at the moment, congrats—that’s a HUGE step in and of itself. Before you decide, here are some things to ask yourself and consider as you take this next step in your healing journey:

Ask Yourself:

Do you need a sacred container first?

Some stories need whispering before they can be spoken aloud
Individual therapy offers that private rehearsal space, in a way
No shame in needing this—it’s actually self-awareness

Or do you need to feel less alone right now?

The relief of “me too” can be immediately medicinal
Group therapy fast-tracks the realization: your feelings are valid BECAUSE others share them

Are you ready to be challenged?

Individual therapy can sometimes become too comfortable
Group members won’t let you hide in your stories the same way
They’ll call you on your BS with love (the best kind of accountability)

What are you actually afraid of?

Fear of judgment? (Group therapists are trained facilitators of safety)
Fear of not getting enough attention? (Valid—and worth exploring in either format)
Fear of intimacy? (That’s precisely what both modalities help you face)

Ultimately, the right choice isn’t necessarily about which is “better”; it’s about which matches where you are right now. Cliché, but true. Also, here’s a little secret: you can change your mind. Perhaps you sign up for a group, and after the group ends (usually around eight or so weeks), you decide the group isn’t for you—you can leave and give individual therapy a try. This decision is not binding!

The Third Option: Try Both

Many clients at The Sterling Group have discovered that individual and group therapy together is the sweet spot. Individual therapy can be a space for deep excavation, and group therapy can act as a real-world laboratory. The combination of both individual and group therapy allows for the richest neural integration. Individual gives you the language; group teaches you the dance.

In Closing: An Invitation, Not a Prescription

You do not need to have it all figured out before you start—just start. Starting is enough. The Sterling Group offers both individual and group therapy because healing is not one-size-fits-all. Start when you’re feeling the pull, even if you can’t explain why. Remember that choosing therapy—no matter what form—is choosing yourself, and that’s absolutely the bravest thing you can do. Sometimes the question isn’t which path is right, but whether you’re ready to walk one at all. TSG is here for you when you are.

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About the Author

Katie Jacobi is a licensed professional counselor and Level-1 Trained IFS therapist. She’s passionate about helping young adults to better understand themselves, adapt, heal, and ultimately integrate past experiences into a brighter future. Katie works with both individuals and couples. She’s a self-proclaimed “psych nerd” and is constantly learning new skills, and evidence-based practices to help tailor her approach to the individual or individuals in front of her, being able to meet them where they are at. If you’re interested in working with Katie for Internal Family Systems Therapy or traditional counseling, reach out to TSG for a free 15-minute consultation today!

Group Therapy vs. Individual Therapy: Which Is Right for You?