Why Does My To-Do List Make Me Feel So Overwhelmed?
Midterms are around the corner. Your deadlines are piling up, you have no clue what you're going to eat for dinner this week, and the number of unanswered texts has doubled overnight. You have a lot on your plate, arguably too much… so, you make a list. The problem is that every time you try to look at your to-do list, it feels harder and harder to get started.
So instead of getting started, you reorganize the list. You respond to a low-stakes email, scroll for a few minutes, reply to a few texts. You make a promise to yourself to try again once you're focused, but an hour of scrolling later, you feel guilty about the time you've wasted. And that to-do list you promised yourself you'd start? It feels even more daunting.
When working with my clients, I often hear them describe themselves as unmotivated, incapable, or stuck. But putting something off doesn't always mean that you don't care or that you can't do what you want (and need) to do. While procrastination can feel like a motivation or time-management problem, it's usually more about your emotions. In many cases, procrastination is about avoiding uncomfortable feelings (think anxiety, fear of failure, perfectionism) that have become associated with doing a task.
When everything on your list feels urgent, even just deciding where to start becomes a challenge in itself. Understanding what you're feeling and what's making something feel so difficult, not just focusing on the task itself, is often the first step toward getting unstuck.
Why Does This Simple Task Feel So Hard?
A lot of the time, it's not really about the task, but what the task makes you feel. Maybe starting the paper triggers the fear that whatever you write won't be good enough. Maybe going to office hours feels vulnerable, and you worry about being embarrassed or judged. Or maybe you have so many competing priorities that figuring out where to start feels impossible. Delaying the task can give you short-term relief from those sticky feelings, but the problem is the relief doesn't last. The unfinished tasks are still in the back of your mind, adding pressure, and likely making you feel even worse.
ADHD educator Brendan Mahan calls this feeling the "Wall of Awful." The Wall of Awful is an emotional barrier that can build up around a task after repeated experiences of difficulty, shame, failure, or disappointment. It isn't a formal clinical term, but the pattern it captures is one I frequently see: once you have enough guilt and self-criticism attached to a responsibility, starting it can feel harder than completing it. This is why telling ourselves "just do it" doesn't consistently work. You're treating the task like a practical roadblock, when in reality, the wall is made out of emotional bricks. The goal isn't to shame yourself into climbing the wall faster, it's to reflect on why the wall is there and understand what it's made of.
If you're in this predicament, ask yourself: What do I anticipate feeling when I start? Am I afraid I'll do it badly? Do I think it's going to take me forever? Naming the feeling and understanding it won't finish the task, but it makes the barrier less of a mystery.
What Can I Do When Everything Feels Urgent and I'm Overwhelmed?
The first step is to get everything out of your head: every task, worry, reminder, and responsibility. Don't judge or try to organize yet. The goal is to give your thoughts somewhere to live outside of your brain, and yes, I recommend paper over your phone for this.
Writing on a physical page gives your thoughts a concrete home, without the distraction that phones provide. Whiiiich, as we've all experienced, can turn a quick exercise into a 40-minute doomscroll.
Next, separate the most urgent tasks from anxious thoughts. When you feel overwhelmed, it's easy to default into thinking that every responsibility is an emergency. Take a deep breath, go through your list, and ask yourself:
What actually needs to happen in this moment? Today?
What would be great, but not essential, to finish?
What can wait?
The goal isn't to schedule everything perfectly, it's to slow down and notice for yourself whether a task is truly urgent, or whether anxiety is peppering your brain with worst-case scenarios.
From there, make the first step even smaller. "Write my midterm paper" isn't one task. It's an entire project trying to disguise itself as a single item on your to-do list. Try replacing it with:
Open the word document
Read and digest the assignment instructions
Find three sources
Write paragraph 1 without worrying about how it sounds
Breaking the task down into more granular pieces doesn't make the task disappear or trick yourself into suddenly thinking it's fun and easy. It simply lowers the emotional barrier that makes it hard to start. You don't have to finish the entire paper right now, you just have to start intentionally. Motivation doesn't always present itself before you start, but choosing the smallest action possible can help create momentum.
Am I Overwhelmed or Is It Something More?
Sometimes having too much on your plate is exactly that! There are busy seasons of life, and balancing deadlines, work stress, and personal responsibilities can leave anyone feeling overwhelmed. But if this feels less like a bad week and more like a recurring pattern, that may be worth paying attention to.
Is this only happening at school, or is it showing up in your personal life too? Are you missing deadlines, losing sleep, or feeling guilty about what you "should" be doing? Having difficulty getting started can show up for a lot of reasons, including ADHD, anxiety, depression, burnout, and perfectionism, to name a few. But struggling with your to-do list doesn't necessarily mean that any of these are the reason, it may also be a sign that something about the way you're approaching your responsibilities isn't working.
Rather than trying to push your way through it and "just work harder," it may help to get curious about what you're feeling underneath that procrastinating tendency. Sometimes the goal isn't to be more productive, it's to understand what's getting in the way of getting started. And if that pattern feels bigger than a busy week, no matter what's underneath it, it's worth talking through with someone.
About the Author
Helena Vaughan, LICSW, is a Senior Therapist at The Sterling Group DC specializing in ADHD and executive functioning, anxiety, and life transitions. She takes a strengths-based, trauma-informed approach to help clients understand the patterns getting in their way and build a stronger sense of agency in how they move forward.
